What I Wear When I Don’t Know What to Wear
What living in Berlin—with only a fraction of my wardrobe—has reminded me about getting dressed in uncertain seasons.
We’ve officially lived in Berlin for just over a month, and I’m still romanticizing much of it.
Wine really is cheaper than water!
The public healthcare has been pretty solid so far. I went to the gynecologist and—wait for it—my appointment started on time and the doctor herself came out to get me from the waiting room. Didn’t interact with a single nurse.
We’re sleeping with the windows open in July, and I’m currently wearing leggings AND A SWEATSHIRT as I type this.
But. (There’s always a but, isn’t there?) I’m also finding myself in that uncomfortable in-between—being home but not feeling at home. Having moved nearly ten times in my adult life, I know this place all too well and it’s my least favorite part of moving.
It’s more intense than with any other move, because even though we’ve been living in Berlin for over a month, we’re still waiting on our household goods delivery (read: furniture, clothes, personal effects—basically the rest of our lives). So we’re living in a mostly empty house. Add to that speaking very little German (for now!) and knowing no one. It’s an emotional rollercoaster.
And that discomfort has crept into my style, too.
When we moved here, I packed what I could into a few suitcases, focusing on my go-to, most-worn pieces—the ones that feel like “me.” Or so I thought. Lately, though, nothing really feels like “me.”
Berlin style is fascinating. On the one hand, anything goes. On the other hand, there’s a definite vibe: black-on-black-on-black, minimalism, monochrome, oversized tees and baggy denim, boots and frequently functional fashion. Feet and public transit are the main modes of transportation here, and people dress for it: comfy shoes, a jacket, an umbrella, plus a bag and whatever else they might need for where they’re going.
I find myself vascillating between practicing what I preach as a stylist—dressing how I want to dress and wearing what I like to wear—and feeling out of place and unsure of what I’m wearing. As someone who’s felt solid in her style for the better part of a decade now, I find myself feeling a little lost. Self-conscious, even.
The other day, I was standing in front of my closet, trying to pick out something to wear for my day, which consisted of dropping our daughter off at basketball camp and meeting a new friend for coffee. I was spiraling. Nothing felt right.
So I paused and did what I always encourage my clients to do:
Wear what makes you feel good. Wear what feels like you.
I quickly chose a familiar combo—my beloved Madewell stovepipe jeans, a crisp white shirt and my Puma sneakers. Not a terribly exciting outfit, but comfortable and “me.”
Here’s why this kind of outfit works:
It’s grounding. In uncertain times and unfamiliar places, something as simple as a familiar outfit can help you feel like yourself.
It’s functional. Clothes that fit properly and feel good mean you’re not adjusting, tugging or second-guessing throughout the day.
It’s versatile. This combo is one of my tried and true outfit formulas. Because it’s my vibe, I have several other button-front collared shirts I could’ve chosen instead and achieved a slightly different look but the same overall result (comfort, feeling like myself).
It’s easy. Not every outfit needs to “wow.” Some days it’s a win just to get dressed.
So if you’re in a season of change—or just standing in front of your closet feeling unsure—start with what feels familiar. Wear what feels like you. Don’t overthink it. It doesn’t have to be exciting. It just has to help you feel like yourself so you can get on with your day.
Do you have other tricks you utilize when you’re struggling to get dressed? Tell me in the comments.
And if you could use help discovering outfit formulas that work for you—so you can get dressed effortlessly in all seasons of life—join my waitlist to work with me.
